1 Conveniently Keep Forgetting Edward's Name For some reason, probably because they're in love with him, Twilight fans seem to get offended when you can't remember Edgar's name. So, to annoy them just keep getting Eric's name wrong. A typical conversation with a Twilight fan might go something like this: You: (Yes or no depending on whether you saw it or not) I thought Edmund was pretty sucky, so (you either thought the movie was terrible or he's the reason why you didn't see it. And yes, you did throw in a vampire pun). Twilight Fan: It's Edward. But hey, why didn't you like him? I think he's like the most awesomely perfect guy ever. You: (Sounding very uninterested) Yeah, well I just thought Earnest looked/was kinda girly. Twilight Fan: I thought Edward was great. He's so complex. You: Whatever, Elmer just sucked. End of story. Then walk away because no normal person can talk to a Twilight fan for that long without throwing up a little in their mouths, and plus that bitch is about to gouge your eyes out with the heel of her shoe. 2 Insist That Edward is a Woman To Twilight fans, Edward is the greatest man that has ever not existed. So, to call him womanly would be offensive to even the toughest fan. If you insist he's a woman for long enough there's a good chance you'll see tears. Pictured above: Twilight's toughest fans before being told Edward is a woman How can you back up your argument? In the movie, Edward is quite obviously wearing lipstick. There's really no way you can watch the movie without noticing. Or, if you don't even want to talk to any dumb fans just wear this: This should annoy the FUCK out of them 3 Call Jacob a Pedophile Not all of the Twilight fans are totally in love with Edward. There is another fictional boy who will never ever exist in real life. This character is Jacob. In the fourth book, Breaking Dawn, Jacob falls in love with Edward and Bella's baby. Of course, so Stephanie Meyer wouldn't be called a crazy bitch, she gave Jacob a perfectly reasonable explanation for falling in love with an infant. Werewolves are able to find their life long partner through something called "imprinting". Basically, it's love at first sight except it's on a much deeper level. Sorry girls, Jacob loves babies This is a sure way to piss off any freshly pubescent fan because it will force them to question Jacob's true motives. And it's even worse for them because there's really no way they can argue against you. The only thing they could say is: "He's not a pedophile, he's just in love with a baby." 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Or, if they played, you treated them with kid gloves, the way Pittsburgh handled Ben Roethlisberger back in 2004, when the rookie quarterback averaged just 21.1 pass attempts per game and relied on the Steelers running game. (And while Peyton Manning's name is never far from our minds, could you imagine Luck spending the entire year, or even two, sitting on the bench watching Manning? Me, neither.) The Colts are dropping Luck out of a plane in the stratosphere and asking him to learn how to fly. It may make for some rough football here in his rookie year, some misfires and mistakes, but down the road (and not far down the road), it's going to be highly beneficial. Just as the light went on for Manning in his seventh game, against San Francisco, it's going to come on, and stay on, before you know it for Luck. Consider this: Luck is averaging 44.2 pass attempts per game, second most this year behind Drew Brees, a number that would shatter the rookie record. (He's actually on pace to shatter all the rookie passing records). John Elway didn't throw 44 passes until his 10th game in his rookie year of 1983. Dan Marino didn't throw 44 once his rookie season. Ben Roethlisberger, whose position coach was Bruce Arians, didn't throw 44 times all season, either. And Manning had 44 or more attempts just three times his first year. So far, the kid has been everything people expected and more. Will he be better than Manning someday? I'm not going to take that leap of faith just yet, not when Manning is working on a possible fifth MVP Award. But will he be as good as Manning eventually? Without hesitation, I'll say the answer: Yes. As long as the offensive line doesn't get him killed first, of course. (See: the Nick Perry hit, the one that moved Luck to smile at the defender). Remember, Manning was sacked just 22 times in 1998. Luck already has been sacked 13 times, and has run out of trouble on countless other occasions. Already, Luck is ahead of Manning in almost every conceivable rookie quarterback statistic, and he's doing it with an inferior cast to the one Manning enjoyed when he arrived in 1998. True, Luck has Reggie Wayne, but Manning had Marvin Harrison, Marshall Faulk, Tarik Glenn, Marcus Pollard, Ken Dilger and others. And through five games, Luck has surpassed Manning's numbers by a bunch. The good news here is, the Colts aren't spoon feeding Luck. They're not asking him to simply hand off. They're not asking him to dink and dunk all over the field. They've already entrusted him with the no huddle, which they should run with more frequency, something Arians never did with Manning his rookie year. Eventually, Luck will be given the same game day options Manning had, receiving multiple plays and then calling the right play at the line of scrimmage. But for now, Arians isn't sure the other 10 players on the field are quite ready to take on that enormous responsibility. "We're not there yet," Arians said this week. In the meantime, though, the Colts are taking a page of the Ted Marchibroda playbook and letting 'er rip. The only semi bothersome statistic is Luck's completion percentage, but that, too, comes with an explanation that makes sense. In three of five games this season, the Colts have had to play catch up in situations where the opposition knew he had no choice but to throw. Even more, opponents know the Colts, who have the league's 26th ranked running game, can't get it done consistently on the ground. Compare that to RGIII's offense in Washington, where his team currently ranked second in the league with in rushing at 166 yards per game. (RGIII is averaging 63.2 yards of that number, which is both impressive and scary given the likelihood he'll get hurt again while scrambling.) There are two very coherent reasons why rookie quarterbacks are coming into the league more NFL ready than ever. (And don't forget, Cam Newton and Andy Dalton didn't even have the advantage of a normal off season because of last year's lockout.) Air Jordan Spizike New York Knicks Blue,FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. Thanks to the reality TV phenomenon Dancing with the Stars, there is more interest than ever in ballroom dancing. This excitement has carried over to the cruise industry, where many top cruise lines now offer a "Dance Host" program, whereby gentlemen ballroom dancers join the ship's staff to be dance partners for ladies traveling solo.Sixth Star Entertainment, a Fort Lauderdale based company that recruits Dance Hosts, announces that this interest in ballroom dancing has created many new opportunities for gentlemen to cruise in this capacity. The company places Dance Hosts aboard Cunard Line, Regent Seven Seas Cruises, Celebrity Cruises and more."Our current openings include cruises to Europe, Alaska, Tahiti, the Caribbean and beyond," explained Sixth Star President Doug Jones. "Gents who love dancing can literally see the world."Gentlemen enlisted to serve as Dance Hosts sail for short term, unpaid assignments ranging in length from a week to a month. They sail in passenger staterooms and enjoy all the travel, entertainment, food and amenities of the cruise for a fraction of the brochure price. In exchange, Dance Hosts spend their evenings ballroom dancing, dining and socializing with single ladies traveling on the cruise.Gentlemen Dance Host candidates must have the following qualifications to be considered: Single, physically fit and 40 69 years old Proficient in the Foxtrot, Swing, Rumba, Waltz and Cha Cha Willing to dance several hours a night, each evening of the cruise Able to dance with ladies of all ages and dancing abilities"Many people think that only professional dancers can apply to be Dance Hosts, but that is not the case," explains Jones. "Our 'Distinguished Gents' come from varied backgrounds and share a common enthusiasm for socializing, dancing and travel."
Limited Time To Sale Air Jordan Spizike New York Knicks Blue,Air Jordan 6 Rings Carbon Fiber Hi, my name is Sarah Shoemaker and this is how to wear a ballet shoes. Materials needed will be your ballet shoes. When wearing ballet shoes, you want to have a snug fit that's comfortable but not too loose. It's very important that they fit properly so that you can practice the technique without worrying about tripping over your feet or tripping over your shoes. But you also don't want them to be so tight that they aren't comfortable or dangerous. The fit of the ballet shoes should be snug, so there's no extra fabric to trip over; but not so tight that your toes can't lie flat inside the shoe or that you have any restricted movement. So you should have a nice flat fit; flat toes; no extra room at the end and the ability to move your feet comfortably within the shoe. You also want to make sure that the elastic that is holding the shoe on, on top of your foot is sewn in place where there's pulling up the fabric at the arch of your foot so that as you point your foot; it's fitting snuggly to the arch of your foot. And the other point at which you want to make sure that you have addressed is the drawstrings on top of the shoe should be tied in a knot; cut and then tucked in, so there's no bows or extra fabric or anything distracting from the shape of your foot. And in conclusion, that is how you wear a ballet shoes. Air Jordan Spizike New York Knicks Blue If you are all about the great outdoors and fantasize about what life would be like if you could spend your days in a snug little cabin in the woods, why not carve out your own little rustic getaway right inside your home? Here are some tips on how to do this. A den is the perfect place to cozy up and create a personal and inspired rustic retreat. Rustic decor is distinguished by natural materials and idyllic log cabin trappings. Your inspiration could be a fishing lodge on a lake, a ski cabin in the mountains or a hunting lodge in the North Country. Specific architectural details are common to all rustic retreats: stone fireplaces or cast iron wood burning stoves, thick walls built from rough hewn logs, exposed beams, river rock and slate, and accents like antlers and plaid wool blankets. How do you bring these images into a home that may be located in a subdivision instead of at the banks of a gurgling river bed? Think of the colors found in a rustic lodge or cabin; they are typically deep and inspired by nature. Shades like deep red, pine needle and hunter green, acorn brown and accents in the rich tones of yellow, such as gold, mustard and amber are traditional rustic hues that mimic those found in the woods and hillsides. Sturdy wood furniture with a well worn patina, twig furniture and Adirondack chairs, leather cushions and accents, sturdy woven plaids, animal hides, tin and copper are predominant material choices. If your walls are paneled in knotty pine you have a very good start, but if not, painting the walls in a rich shade of Aspen green can set an excellent backdrop. A freestanding screen with wildlife or cabin inspired detail can also soften corners and provide the basis for your color palette. Keep window treatments simply rustic with stained shutters flanked by curtain panels in plaid or a natural motif. If your floors are carpeted, break up the monotony with a braided area rug or highlight the natural beauty of hardwood floors in the same way. Bring rustic colors and textures into the room with accents and accessories. A great and fun place to hunt for cabin treasures is at antique stores and flea markets. You'll find photographs, portraits, paintings and postcards of cabins, resorts, hunting trips, wildlife and Currier Ives prints that will give your den instant old cabin appeal. Accouterments like old snow shoes, antique skies in a corner and slope side paintings or vintage ski resort posters lend the air of a Vermont ski lodge. If you don't have a fireplace, bring in a freestanding electric stove that looks like the cast iron original. Hunting trophies, old guns and gun safes, fishing poles, old lanterns, coffee pots and sap buckets, Western and Native American art, rustic twig picture frames and bandanna print fabrics are just a few ideas to get you on your way. If you want to go a more subtle and less masculine route, bring in an array of fabrics for furniture, window treatments and pillows, then repeat the chosen motif in other accessories that reflect nature. For instance, you might layer shades like sage, cream, ochre and dark brown in designs that feature leaves, twigs, pinecones and acorns then echo these themes from furniture, to window treatments, floor coverings and accessories.
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